Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Itchy feet.

I am feeling incredibly unsettled at the moment. Last night I couldn’t sleep at all, instead I sat in the kitchen till 4am just thinking, thinking about what I really want to do and where I want to go. This has all come along after a few turbulent days. Thankfully that has passed, but it did make me realise that I need to do something drastic.

After all this I still couldn’t sleep and decided it was pointless trying. I ended up doing “points calculators” online to test if I am eligible to emigrate to a number of (sometimes completely random) countries, for some reason I felt drawn to New Zealand. Today I was in WH Smith and spent an hour leafing through the books in the travel section, tonight I am meeting a friend to finalise details of a trip to Berlin soon, this is turning into a consistent theme.

Maybe I am trying to escape my “trap” in the most obvious and dramatic way possible, maybe it is all talk, but I don’t think it is. I am seriously serious about emigrating from the U.K.

P.s. In the past week I have written six posts, but only published one. Some I have published only to remove soon after, if you were quick you may have caught a few of them. This was probably tied into my self confidence crisis I mention above. Also, it is partly because my views and opinions on all matters are changing so fast I don’t really feel as they are solid enough to voice to the world. I am writing, I’m just not publishing.